


I hate... that i love you

by stelaLTMSYF



Category: Teenage Bounty Hunters, Teenage Bounty Hunters (TV), stepril
Genre: F/F, Female Homosexuality, Homosexuality, Non-English writer, against, agants, christian - Freeform, stepril - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:48:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26244430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stelaLTMSYF/pseuds/stelaLTMSYF
Summary: I hate this feelingi hate this lovei hate what happensi hate that i need youi hate that i want youi hate that i can't kiss youi hate that you are not mineBecause April Stevens only wants one thing: Sterling Wesley
Relationships: April Stevens/Sterling Wesley, Sterling Wesley/April Stevens, Sterling/April, aprilxsterling, sterlingxapril
Comments: 3
Kudos: 65





	I hate... that i love you

**Author's Note:**

> Written by non-english writer

I hate what it was happening  
I hate that i had to go back for my water bottle  
I hate that she was there at the moment.  
I hate that the security system stopped working.  
I hate that it was in the elevator for the parking.  
I hate that it caught only the two of us there.  
Because i was stuck in a elevator with the only person i should be stuck with, Sterling Wesley.  
How do you prepare to be alone with the person you… love the most, after you had to break her heart? How do you prepare to be there, without any possibility to scape; because you school is so useless that for a fail in the system, you got stuck in the tiny space you will ever be with someone you don’t want.  
I know she is looking at me, even without saying anything. I know her eyes are on me and I know, she must be as nervous and frustrated as I am. And I don’t know what makes me more nervous if being with her there, or knowing both of us are feeling the same thing… even if we didn’t speak a single word in all this time. After all, there is this connection that you create with a person who was once your lover, who once, had your heart. And it’s funny, because I never thought something like that would happen.   
There were Adeles, there is a Sterling… but when my mind made to the idea that God made me different, that God had a plan for me because nothing he do, do it wrong; I never would have thought it had to do with creating this connection with her. With my old friend from fifth grade, for the person who once I thought I lose.  
“Let’s sit” I heard her suddenly saying when I look at her and I see she is on the floor “This will take time… you heard them” and she was right.  
The person at the other side told that they were going to do the job, but we had to wait like 30 minutes for it. So I look at her and without saying anything, I sit, opposite to her, without talking.  
“You are really not going to talk for 30 minutes. It’s going to be long” and again, she was right because even our phones didn’t work.  
“I prefer silence” I reply “It helps you to think for your sins” it was the stupiest thing to say, but it was how I… wanted to said it.  
Sterling looks at me, she doesn’t say anything.  
And for a few minutes, it works. We don’t talk. I use the phone to play some games, but it doesn’t last long… since I only had like ten percent of battery and well… let’s just say that those minutes that we had to wait, were really going to be… very long.  
Suddenly, I notice Sterling, with her head against the wall, is looking at me. She doesn’t say anything, but with a tiny smile, she stays like that… and I hate her. Because I notice my heart going faster every second that her eyes stays on me. Every second she keeps smiling till my mind start remembering what shouldn’t remember. The moment in the car, the moment when she convinced me that it was possible, that we could be together…  
“Stop!” I literally shout at her.  
“What?” she replies almost hurt “You ok”  
“Stop looking at me” she smiles even more, Sterling even laughs.  
“No” I get surprise when she says that.  
“Why?”  
“Because it’s the first time since we… we broke up” I notice how she even struggles to say it “That I can look at you the way I feel without worrying someone would notice and say it to you” she was crystal clear with the theme.  
“Sterling” I breath, trying to calm myself when I notice my heartbeat in my ears “Don’t. Please, don’t” I almost beg.  
Her smiles disappears, but suddenly, i see she moves to my side. I don’t move, my eyes goes to her, but quickly change to the wall in front of me.  
“Let me just enjoy this moment” her hands moves over my arm, without touching “Let me enjoy, please” I don’t say anything, even when she put her hand over mines.  
I really can’t believe I was that cool with what was happening. I still couldn’t believe I was not screaming, that I was able to breath. Because in that moment, I was feeling what Eve must have feel when she took the apple of Eden. When she eat it and discovered that there was something better than Eden… And for me… it was Sterling.  
I look at Sterling and suddenly, my mind goes wild. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t stop myself and in the next step, I watch how my heart take the control over my body and u put my lips over Sterling’s. It’s a sweet kiss, but like if the Devil himself took my body, all changes.   
The air that escapes from my lungs is more and more strong. The kiss evolves to a more passionate one and suddenly, I’m on top of Sterling. I notice her hands over me, over my legs, going up till I notice them on my back. Her lips over me, over my lips, over my neck and I stop breathing for a moment when I notice her there. When I notice her kiss on my neck and the bite she does there.  
I couldn’t believe. I couldn’t believe I was going so fast in a place like that…. I should be ashamed of that…   
But I wasn’t   
I was not going to regret that. I was not going to regret that I kissed, that I made her touch me, making me feel things I never felt before. Because how can you regret feeling something that was so good… but that it hurts so much?  
Because even I wanted Sterling to take me… there was this feeling of stopping… of letting her go… for now. Because it wasn’t the moment, because deep down, if something more happened, it had to be in the right moment.   
And this moment…? Well, it was all feelings that needed to came out.  
So when I kiss her, I take her cheeks and i stop the kiss. Sterling’s eyes looks at me. Breathing as if she couldn’t before, I lose myself in the blue of her eyes for a second.  
“We should stop”  
“You wanna stop?” I smile, because she clearly knew my response.  
“No” I’m honest “But we have to… if we don’t want to regret this latter”  
“I will not regret anything that comes from being with you” I smile, I genuinely smile when I hear her say that, kissing her again “I won’t”  
“I know” I say “I won’t either… but this is not the moment… and you know it”  
And if it was a message from God, the light comes again in the buttons if the elevator. The doors opens.   
It was God.   
Maybe… another time.


End file.
